We are the Champions,no time for losers

N.E.S. Ratnam affiliated to the universities of Harvard, Cambridge, Massachussets and Oxford is an ISO: 9001-2000 institution. It is the part of the N.E.S.empire which has 44 other institutions that include Annapoorani caterers and Hotel Mahalaxmi (DP). N.E.S. Ratnam college students aka Ratnamites or Dynamites are extremely well mannered students with some exceptions here, there and everywhere. The principal of college is Mr.Theeta Rappayi, yes you heard it right, they have changed their principal, actually they sacked her ‘coz they felt Mr.Theeta Rappayi was the deserving candidate as he weighed 29.5 pounds more.
The N.E.S. Ratnam college campus is vast and it stretches from Bhattipada road to N.E.S. Marg.The College is home to some unique species of animals which includes cats, dogs and Vishnu Vishwakarma. Vishnu Vishwakarma also happens to be the general secretary of the cultural forum, he also happens to be the private secretary of someone called Madam X (part time, evening shift). Vishnu Vishwakarma.is muscular, popular, spectacular and a bachelor. But Vishnu can’t dance saala, which means Vishnu can’t dance saala, only Abbas tyrewala knows what that means. But our source has seen him dancing with his boss.
The college has a state of the art BCR and a GCR; our source is not permitted in both. The college organizes blood donation camps, N.C.C camps, N.S.S. camps and our source says that they also organize money donation camps (where we are the donor and they are the recipient).The college was selected as the best college in Bhattipada Road. The other institutions that were competing were Nair auntie’s tuition classes and Raji sir’s torture classes (he used to teach computer to St.Xavier’s students but now teaches nonsense to Bhattipada students. The principal received the prestigious Sardarni Pratap Singh award from the hands of her highness Sardarni.

Academics:
Ratnamites are serious when it comes to academics. They love their marks and they love their KT’s.The smarter the boy, more the KT’s.the college has initiated the King/Queen of KT’s award to encourage more and more students to get KT’s.But unfortunately our source is yet to get a KT (poor chap).

Sports:
The sports day is organized every year at the Naval Dockyard Colony. The major sport events include Pakda-Pakdi, Saakli, Langdi and Dongar kya Paani.Mr.Senthil Mudaliyar won the championship trophy for his outstanding performance in Pakda-Pakdi but some say that he was cheating.

Festivals:
Mantra is the annual cultureless festival of N.E.S.Ratnam College. The main event of this festival is the two and a half hour speech by the founder president. The college also distributes special mantra T Shirts which represents India’s poverty.

Admissions:
Admissions is the name of the festival which marks the beginning of the harvest season of the college. During the harvesting season, they behead the poor parents by demanding monstrous amount of money. This festival is celebrated by lighting candles and drinking beer.

Awards and Achievements:
· Twin national honour,1996
· Twin national honour,1996
· Best college of Bhattipada,1998
· Best college of N.E.S.Marg,2002
· Best college for KT’s,2006

Famous celebrities:
Surjith Sudhakaran
Kaushal Singh
Senthil Mudaliyar
Our Source(that’s you)